If you dont already know, I love animals! Rabbits can be very affectionate but it takes a long time to build the trust and relationship with them. I think it took about 1.5 years for her to fully run around freely. Rabbits are prey animals and take a long time to trust people, unlike dogs that can lick strangers on the first meeting.
I think all animal lovers are kind people. why else would you want a pet if you don’t intend to pamper it?
About me Personally
I am a single child, born in Singapore and the only one in the Fok family that can pass on the surname. I hope they don’t find out I don’t intend to have children. Growing up, I had a very strong entitlement mentality because of the special treatment I received as the “golden grandson”. It took a lot of time and shaping before I was going to have a more reasonable and realistic world view. That is my favourite aunty that took care of me a lot when I was younger.
I will start from when I first went to school. In Singapore, everyone must go to school starting from age 6. Parents usually send their children to kindergarten or nursery classes from before. at age 6, compulsory school attendance is required and the child goes into Primary 1. I went to a primary school where I am somewhat of a minority ethnic. Not good. Bullying started from day 1. They would use their knuckles to knock on my head, trying to create a “baduku”, which is a swelling from tissue damage. Someone else would pinch my hands to try to create a “orh ceh”, which is when the skin gets hurt and turns into a bruise that is blue and black in colour. It gets worse. I have been choked on my neck before and I cant breathe. When I hear the complaints of emotional abuse from children to children, it tickles me. they should check out my school.
I started off rough in primary school. many times I have been slapped by the teacher for using vulgar language. I could not understand what the problem is. in my family I was exposed to frequent vulgar language. how can a 6 year old figure out why he can’t speak like his family at home? this was to continue until about when I was 26 years old before I started to make pro active changes. If you can’t fix problems like these, then please do not have children.
The advice was the same everyday. You need to study hard, work hard, pay attention in class, listen to the teacher. If it was this simple, everyone would be a scholar. bad grades were corrected with caning. surprisingly it worked for me, but I won’t try this on others. In recent times, the educational approach has changed. the teacher has to pay attention to the student (and not the student on the teacher). there is dialogue and discussion and explanation (not blind caning). everyone is now able to pursue what they like to study (not put against each other in a bell curve). it makes me feel antique.
I feel that this perspective is toxic. It requires you to have already decided to put the blame and responsibility on yourself, before even studying the problem. and then you should try to figure out how you can improve or change. This frustrates me alot when my friends keep doing it. Firstly, I dont believe that I am responsible for all the problems. I think I’m only responsible for maybe less than 1% of whats going on everyday. putting yourself to blame for problems u cannot change causes u to mistake an external problem as an internal one. I believe In ignoring most problems, look at external factors and then also what I can do about it.
For example, the problem was I failed in the exam. The quick answer will be to cane. this same punishment is also given to those who are unable to disciplined themselves, skip school etc. and then what? the parents will continuously encourage them to “study hard”. i dont think this works very well. as of 2023, the wisdom now is that you should review their test, see what they can improve and provide tuition, encouragement and emotional support. What is study hard? (now I understand it to be to read the book from front to back and keep doing exam papers) perhaps the teacher is unable to bring across the points clearly, you can check this with their classmates. if this is the case, the teacher may have to undergo more training to improve her teaching. maybe your son is short sighted and cannot see the white board. you should get him to an optometrist and make him glasses. maybe there are some health issues thats causing discomfort to the child. you should get a checkup at the hospital. but instead of doing all this, we punish and cane ourselves. how helpful is that? surprisingly, my friends and I survived this catastrophe. the methodology is ancient.
After primary school, we graduate and enter a secondary school. I started to fall asleep often in class, and most teachers would punish me or send me out of the class. I remember one teacher said that I was rude. This problem will later become depression, interrupt my life and require intervention. At this age, I could function mostly normally despite the health issue. Fortunately, I kept myself fit and did well in school.
Further in the future in Singapore Management University, this mental health issue would increase to a level where I was unable to wake up on time, come 30mins late for exam. basically the same things as before, but more often and worse. This would become a key issue that defines my life. I dropped out of university. My grades were good, but I was to get my first B- or C in my life. that struck a lot of fear in me. I have never received a C in school, except Chinese. I didnt know back then, but this was to cause alot of stress to myself. coupled with IBS (which will be diagnosed later), it was a perfect recipe for disaster.
Sometime in 2018 I got diagnosed with depression, anxiety and IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). It started from stomach pains that wouldn’t go away. I would uncontrolbly curl up into a ball in pain, and tears will flow out of my eyes. I couldn’t sleep for an entire week until 6-7am when I was totally exhausted and passed out. I could no longer continue with normal life, and had to seek treatment.
Luckily, I was covered with hospital insurance. Back then, I did not have to pay a single cent. I went to a private hospital and did almost every test there was. MRI, CT, blood work, colonoscopy whatever. I was normal. This would continue for another few times before I decided to seek even further treatment. After trying out a few medications, I finally found one that worked (nortriptyline). I still remember the relief. it was almost immediate. I worked my way up to the efficacious dosage at 100mg per day.
Nortriptyline is a tricyclic antidepressant. It’s one of the earlier drugs that were used to treat depression but not used as a first-line treatment anymore. This was prescribed to me for stomach pain in IBS. I started to think I might have mental health issues instead. I was cleared multiple times for physical checks already. One day I had a panic attack (not the first time because I went to hospital back then thinking it was a heart attack and I cannot breathe) and it got really bad, I had to go to the mental hospital and hope they can help. turns out, I had depression and anxiety and was prescribed multiple medications. every one of it helped me to feel better, sleep better and think clearer.
Looking back, I can see that these mental health issues have limited the way I live before. Not only that, these issues are here to stay for life, and I better learn to work with this. I was very excruciating for me to explain this to my friends because they have absolutely no idea. Once in a while, my brain goes blank and I cant remember what I said. I think some people thought I was mentally retarded. I am unable to engage in deep meaningful conversations all the time. maybe 60% of the time (with treatment) and the other 40% will be blank or low functioning.
Honestly, if this diagnosis took any longer, I don’t think I’ll still be alive today. Its too much pain
mental health issues are very poorly understood in Singapore. people think that this is something you can snap out of. they do not recognise that this is a serious disease, like cancer, and requires medical treatment. My friends will constantly remind me that I should not let this limit me and I can do more than this. I find that seriously unhelpful, but will thank them for trying anyway. My first question to them is whether they know anyone that was suffering from depression. Usually they know someone like that. and I will ask them what they are doing. The answers are similar, they hide at home, unable to have gainful employment, dont talk etc. this is my starting point. I am not mentally healthy and normal.
Would you tell someone that has cancer and undergoing chemotherapy and radiation to go for a run in the park to build their stamina ? the same way you should not expect someone with depression/anxiety to attend some Tony Robbins motivational talk and then be able to work more effectively. or to snap out of the poor state of mind.
My mental health condition would worsen over time due to my business. running a business is very stressful, especially when it is not doing well. always trying to collect on late payments from clients, yet having to pay employees on time. not sure whether there is more work next month. I don’t smile anyway. this would guide my career direction to working on a day to day office job. I smile more, sleep better, awake with more energy etc. I won’t be turning back to run a business, but only participate in a limited way where my mind can turn off after 6pm daily, and truly enjoy the weekends without thinking about work.
There is a part of me that wants to get out there to do something. This is one reason for this blog. but I know I will not take it further or getting involved in the more stressful operations. I try to keep my costs low, whether it is server hosting or living expenses, so there is lesser financial liability. I think the balance is somewhere in being a marketing manager and below a marketing director.
My Core Values
I value my family and time with them. I want to see my parents as much as possible and enjoy time with them.I value evening and weekends. they are time for the family and also for rest and relax. you cant keep on going without health consequences.
I travel when work requires me to. I feel like travelling allows us to immerse in different cultures and understand why there are certain behaviours in people of a particular country.
I want to make slightly more than enough money for my parents and I to enjoy life. and maybe enough for wife and kids too in the future (max 1 kid)
About my career/work
My very first job was selling Christmas cards. I think it was like $5/card or something. I walked out of the office with a box of Christmas cards. Walked around, talked to people, and sold absolutely nothing.I also tried a job selling donation tickets. I felt sick knowing that the organisation in question only receives less than 50% of the ticket price.
the first business I got involved it was when I was 18 years old. the youngest age possible to register a business. back then, I was learning more about forex trading, and had a venture with some forex trainers. this is also my first digital product. This is the first time I created a sales pitch ever. I still use the same research and thinking processes until today. after a few runs, I felt that if this should continue, we should work more on product competency and seek advice from better traders. But they were only interested in running more courses. I left with nothing. This business would later go on to make good revenue for about 2 years. maybe 250-300k in course fees. I got 0
I also taught tuition for a while at around $30/hour. I recommended a friend to teach the other subjects, and he got $40/hour. I tried to bargain but they refused my request. I scored better than my friend in all the sciences and maths. I just didnt say it. I like to be valued for what I can do, which is to score As.
I tried my hand at a F&B business selling beancurd. This was one of the worst experience in my life. F&B is highly competitive in singapore and I will not like to go anywhere near it again. there is alot of manual labour, thin margins, frustrated work environment. I raised some money about 50-100k and lost most of it to rent and bills. Fortunately they didnt get upset with me.
the next step I would not usually consider a business was when I played poker professionally. Today, this is banned in Singapore. While I can prove my case, I understand that 99% of everyone else is negatively affected, and I agree with the governments decision to ban online gambling. If you are there at the casino, you are gambling. but is the casino also gambling together with you? I dont think so, because they have the house advantage. I have it too but no one was going to give me any attention. Poker sharpened my mind a lot. there is the pressure of the money, think it was the most in magnitude so far (but not the longest). I was taught to think logically, methodically, and to take calculated risks under extreme pressure. bill gates plays poker, Elon Musk plays poker too.
that is a royal flush. it happened only maybe 2-3 times in my life. its the rarest thing ever
statistics from a poker hand tracker
and thats the supernova status im so proud of before. im ranked the lowest among my friends, but for everyone else who do doesnt play poker, this would look like something significant. paid the bills for about 3-4 years.
My Digital marketing experience
I started dabbling with digital marketing sometime in 2012. I signed up for the warrior forums and bought their WSO offers and encourage others to buy mine. What a waste of time. You don’t always get it right on the first time. I built an email list, purchased a VPS server I didn’t need, filmed videos no one wants to watch, and spent a lot of money buying courses. No luck.
Sometime in 2013, my ex girlfriend of 7 years left me for greener pastures. In business, I am unable to provide the emotional and financial security that a normal employee can provide. There was also a very deep cultural divide I realised much later. Suffering from deep emotional pain, I accepted my friends’ invite to Thailand to numb myself.
right before I left singapore with my friends to head towards Bangkok. I was unaware and unsuspecting about what was going to happen there
no im not choking the sheep, shes very comfortable and well supported
one of my very first thai chicken rice. went back there a few times, but that magical taste never really came back. I think it had more to do with the overall experience rather than the food.
I had a pet guinea pig. It can make really lovely wheeking sounds
My first successful venture was to be internet marketing in maybe 2014. My friend was flying from Singapore to Bangkok when he met someone who was doing affiliate marketing. he referred me to a website called stack that money to learn more about selling online. I basically purchase all forms of advertisement to promote someone else’s product, and get paid a commission in return. Back then pop up advertising was very popular, even cool. When you click some where on the website, and an interruptive window would pop up unexpectedly. It is now no longer allowed except for special circumstances like financial payments. I bought about USD500,000 in ads and did about USD800,000 in revenue. Not considering the employee costs for the 2 years this was going on for.
There was a group of expats there that was making money with their computers. SO COOL, I thought, and I dived head in. This was way before online sales was popular. we went through almost every marketing and advertising tool we could afford, and eventually ending up with the full operations (product R&D, quality control, customer service, fulfilment, warehousing) Stickeebra brand.
we had to purchase stock in the local Pratunam market in Thailand to fulfil our orders. the china factory was having their long Chinese new year holiday.
these are the ads we ran on Facebook
and our store that we used to sell stickeebra. we learnt later that ads is a additional boost and should not be the main strategy like the way we did it.
More competitors soon came up, advertising using a modified version of our ad. They even found better quality bras from China. Ad prices went up (of course) and eventually the profits started to dry up. This is why we should focus on our own product and content. because in the end, it comes down to the product and pricing. marketing can only help to show how good the product is. if it sucks, you will end up killing yourself earlier.
My mentor advised me that the advertising and promotion should form not more than 10% of the revenue of our company. we were spending close to 40% at the best time and increased to as much as 50-60%.
Boyd au on the left, Ron sim on the right
The main question I tried to answer when I got back to singapore was – What were the successful businesses doing that I am not?
Creating Helpful Valuable Content
Advertising was more attractive at first because of its immediate return, and large scale (everyone on Facebook). however, the real long-term money lies in the relationships that are slowly built over time.Advertising creates initial excitement which quickly fizzles out, while marketing through content usually strengthens the relationship over time, and makes the reader more likely to part with more money. Content is long term. it stays there, and people can search for it. even very long later, some of my older blog posts are still getting traffic. Advertising dies immediately when you turn off the budget. This article right here is an effort to create content that others can read to find out more about me if they like to do so.
With that lesson, we started to create content since 2018 (on Youtube/Facebook), before chancing upon Tiktok in 2020 and focusing on Tiktok.
Along the way I gave some talks and started to build a personal profile/presence. This is a talk at a Shopify event.
I would next go on to explore Tiktok and help several clients to establish their brand presence
74 years old Mr Yeo gathers 240k in fans.
The problem with creating content
Creating content is a long term investment. Based on several podcast and experience, general you get your money back in around 1.5-2 years. thats alot of investment. at 2 years, you did not earn anything, you just got it back. but you built the momentum to grow even more. only after 4-5 years will you be really convinced that this was the right move to take.In all our projects, the one that has the most return was our own service. we help clients to create their social media accounts, film, script, edit post videos. in singapore we call this “Bao ka liao” which means we cover everything. I dont like this practice. this means we have to do other tasks that are lower in economic value just in order to drive everything else. I would very much prefer to do just what I am good at, and leave the rest to someone else. I think I could make even more that way…. but never really found a way to achieve this.
we spent around 8.9K SGD and brought in 250k of sales. if you look at the numbers, thats about 20X ROAS. but you would be misinformed. why this works so well is because
1 – we have a high value service. you will notice that other high value services like trading or internet marketing courses charging more than 1k, would have similar results to us
2 – we have had a social media presence since 2 years ago before running ads. they are not seeing us for the first time in the ads. they already know who we are and what we do.
What lies in the future? written 19apr2024
so this is where I am now. I’ll continue to write as I experience more. so this is a live blog.my current take is to build content around high value products/services. but it should also be rare and niche enough to not encourage competitors to enter.
some of the unfair advantages I have and I intend to make use of are
1. I am a Singaporean. TLDR – Singaporeans get special treatment
Within Singapore, the government strongly promotes the hiring of Singaporeans. This means at the same capability compared to a foreigner, we are paid more. we also have office and relaxing jobs reserved for Singaporeans, while the foreigner has to do the manual labour like construction. we are also treated nicer because they need us to fill the quota in order to hire foreigners.
2. I can speak and write Chinese. I’m not particularly good at it. I have a C5 at A levels. while thats usually lower than many females, I think I’m better when compared against most males. This gives me exclusive access to china-related companies. the better guys cannot enter due to the language barrier. while this advantage has been reduced over the years, it’s still considered a major advantage. many companies who succeed do so because of purely the language barrier, even with a worse product/service
3. I have sales and presentation experience, both offline and online. I can sell, but only the things I truly believe in. I am able to present myself professionally. I can understand the deeper concerns of the client and address them with more details.
4. I understand the different functions within the business, how they co operate together and common issues. This means I know how to work across departments.
