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  1. T

    Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown NY City

    Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral. "Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce", the man said. The loan officer promptly had the...
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    A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then

    A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it......Once again he hears a voice "JESUS is watching...
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    The teacher of the Earth Science class was lecturing on map reading. He spent the cla

    The teacher of the Earth Science class was lecturing on map reading. He spent the class explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes. Towards the end of class, the teacher asked his students, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45...
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    A preacher goes into a bar and says "Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up." Ev

    A preacher goes into a bar and says "Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up." Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner. The preacher says "My son, don't you want to go to heaven when you die?" The drunk says "When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking a load up now." . . . ...
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    A man in a taxi cab taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver

    A man in a taxi cab taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screams bloody murder, loses control of the cab, and swerves onto the sidewalk before stopping just inches from a lamppost. After checking to make sure the passenger is OK, the driver says "I'm sorry, but you...
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    Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-ent

    Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone...
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    Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to m

    Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on. He said "It's Al Gore. He's up there threatening to set himself on fire! We are going car to car collecting donations." "Donations!" I said, "How much you got so...
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    In the December 15, 1993 issue of The Chronicle Of Higher Education, page A19, in an

    In the December 15, 1993 issue of The Chronicle Of Higher Education, page A19, in an article discussing MBA programs; Lawrence E. McKibbin, Dean of Business at Washburn University of Topeka is quoted as saying: "You've got to remember there are at least 35 schools in the top 10." If this is...
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    A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited a

    A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome. The employer read all his applications and said, "We have an opening for people like you." "Oh, great," he said, "What is it?" "It's called the door!" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...
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    A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents.

    A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it" for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to...
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    A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is dete

    A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business! The CEO walks up to...
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    Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"

    Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?" Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time," The Doctor nods, "Hmm." Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five...
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    Top reasons why it's better to be a woman:

    Top reasons why it's better to be a woman: 1. We got off the Titanic first. 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in...
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    Two boys were playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweil

    Two boys were playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who was walking by sees the incident, and rushes over to...
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    A mother found her son scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad.

    A mother found her son scooping ice cream in the kitchen and was mad. Mom : "Dinner is going to be ready in an hour, put that ice cream away and go play." Son : "But mom, there's no one to play with." Mom : "I'll play with you, what do you wanna play?" Son : "Lets play mommy and daddy, you...
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    The teacher of the Earth Science class was lecturing on map reading. He spent the cla

    The teacher of the Earth Science class was lecturing on map reading. He spent the class explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes. Towards the end of class, the teacher asked his students, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45...
  17. T

    A guy sticks his head in the barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a hairc

    A guy sticks his head in the barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours." The guy leaves. A few days later, the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I get a haircut?" The barber looks around...
  18. T

    Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown NY City

    Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral. "Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce", the man said. The loan officer promptly had the...
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