Those two links may be useful in what you are doing now: virtualhosting.com/blog/2007/top-100-social-media-and-social-networking-blogs/ and ebizmba.com/articles/social-bookmarking-websites because social networks are the most powerful traffic creators.
Submit your site map to major search engines and directories. How to do? Read this article ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Submit-Your-Site-Map-to-Google,-Yahoo!-and-MSN&id=660037 . Good luck!
Same criteria like at people:a big man or a small one= PR(most important),how he's dress=structure of directory and the last one of my top 3: the age(stability of directory).
A chat is the best possible idea for keeping your members involved but it's a must that on chat to be always 4+ members that communicate.(you may see best traffic hours and activate the chat only then).
If you want that your site could be found by other people with a search engine, yes SEO it's a must. If you create the site only for fun and for sharing only with your friends(that already know address) it's not necessary.
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